Commencement Speech Delivered by Haddee Founder, Dandan Pan

Speech by Dandan Pan, summarized and enhanced by Haddee intern Hans Y., a rising sophomore in San Diego, California. He is passionate about the humanities, especially writing. You can find him out on some tennis courts during the day, and by night whiffing sprays in Valorant. All in all, he hopes you enjoy his work.

Are you guys the luckiest class or the unluckiest class? I would say the former. Think about it: although you lost a year and a half of your regular school life, you all encountered a unique situation that will likely not be present for a long time. It may be famous in later tales of old, a story that you will tell your kids fifty years later.

Now, entering college, your parents must have some expectations for you. I don’t want to talk about expectations today. Instead, I have some thoughts and advice for you, as a parent.

First of all, I don’t want to become a grandma when you are in college. After college, you can do whatever you want. No matter which school you are attending, be it an Ivy League school, the University of Chicago, a UC university, or a state school, half of the campus will try drugs—stoned on some wild substances, languishing in the new, addictive freedom. The choice is solely yours—which side will you choose?

Second, when you turn 21, it is a symbolic age, and a lot about it doesn’t have to do with the consumption of alcohol. When you attend parties, there will be alcohol, weed, and cigarettes. Again, it’s your own decision, the decision to ignore the tantalizing pleasures dangling in front of you. However, more importantly, don’t be addicted to your emotions. Sometimes, the love you have for someone that seems the strongest, purest in the entire world will turn into a twisted, numbing heartbreak, whether it is the product of your decision or the other person’s. Don’t try to gather the broken pieces of the past.

Third, don’t let the outside world control you or the peers around you. You don’t have to get an elusive, prestigious internship. Working as a teaching assistant, doing research, or working at Starbucks is completely fine as long as you are satisfied with whatever you are doing. Ward the pressure off, cast away the imaginary burdens—they’re all an illusion. Take positive things from the people you are with and the journeys you witness, but don’t feel like it’s an obligation to follow their paths, follow their dreams, or follow their endeavors.

Fourth, about the matter of school, the first week you’ll feel that school is a breeze, but by the second week, you’ll feel like you’re behind. If you’re not caught up by the end of the first month, you are in deep trouble. It won’t be easy. Friday night can be a party night! And so can Saturday, but that’s stretching it. But by Sunday morning, you should all be studying, preparing for the new week.

Fifth, regarding phones, turn your phone off when you’re sleeping. When it’s your time to rest, don’t let outside distractions shatter your tranquility. As such, when you are eating, please don’t look at your phone. The amount of enjoyment you have eating your food is the same amount that will become part of you. It is extremely important you enjoy what you are eating, and it will affect your performance greatly.

Sixth, live college to the fullest. Go out to unknown places, foreign places, and mingle with new people, get to know them. Have fun in the process! Make new connections and make friends in a new place (not just in a mutual sense 😉). Don’t feel like you have to stay with someone for very long; you have all the fish in the sea from which to choose. Your expectations might be crushed. Of the friends, acquaintances, and people you get to know, try not to look down upon someone in a disparaging fashion and instead imagine everyone on the same plane, talking and interacting as equals.

Lastly, I cannot thank enough all the kids that Aidan has surrounded himself with on his long, winding road. Without their excellence and dedication, my son’s success would not have become what it is today. Chinese people have a saying, “水涨船高,” meaning that the boat on the ocean will rise with the towering waves that accompany it. Truly, it is his friends who pushed him higher atop the tides of diligence.

It seems that everything is built upon decisions, multitudes of them governing your fate and your destiny. We make a thousand, a hundred thousand decisions a day, too many to even count. And it is my greatest pleasure to state that my son is exceedingly lucky to have made the decision to meet you.

Congrats, all of you! You guys made a lot of sacrifices and worked extremely hard.

You did it!

Cover photo: Pang Yuhao on Unsplash, Unsplash License

Originally published July 9, 2021.